Monday, 31 May 2010

Making our mark

Many of us practice some art, skill or craft. We need to keep our fingers busy, to relieve our minds and create!

I am not very talented, I have no main craft that I favour, but the ease of picking up and putting down a craft at will, means that my rag-rugging is usually the one that gets the most attention.

I start with a pile of 'fleecy' jumpers (I'm not sure what you'd call them in USA), which I deconstruct then cut into strips about 1cm wide and as long as possible.

Then, using hessian sackcloth for my backing I work the strips through it, leaving small loops on the 'good-side' for the pile of the rug. It really is simple pimple!

When I took this shot the rug was unfinished, I hadn't even trimmed or taped the edges! It was a very therapeutic rug to do as after working the border I let my head and hand run free with the bulk of the pattern.

I love being able to just relax my brain, no pattern or colour chart to follow, sheer relaxation and sense of achievement. Marvellous!

Not to everyones taste I'm certain, but it's free, easy, cosy, re-uses resources that might have ended up in landfill, and most importantly.......... covers a bit of floor in the yurt!

I also dabble in silversmithing (although I'm a bit 'rusty'!!!), beading, and making drinking glasses and vases from wine/beer bottles. Bit of an odd mix I know, but that's me all over!!!
I love to make practical stuff, stuff I can use or pass onto friends to be used.

Tell me what keeps your fingers and brain busy, I know lots of you are incredibly talented and creative....

(If you'd like to share, you could email me a photo of a project and I'll post it for you-I don't think the comments system here allows you to do it yourself.)

Thank you for being so supportive and patient with me and my last post, my head seems to be less 'bonkers' now, and my sensitivities are less, well, sensitive! All good, AND I've got the week at home!

Saturday, 29 May 2010

And, the credit goes to........

Just a post to keep in touch with you all, I am afraid that neurologically speaking I'm mush just now, so there will be no profound insights or adventurous 'people-meeting' from me for a little while.

I am so pleased to say 'Hi' to Kerry again, she has been quite unwell but is back in 'cyber-space' and blogging over at Lemonaide-online (link is on my blogroll). Her posts are always thoughtful and poignant...... if it's thoughtful and poignant you need, Kerry's your woman!

She has written her latest post, which I'm afraid to say I can't read at the moment, and I so want to, as the comments about it speak very highly! I'll have to work on it. But, I did look at the pictures, nice!

I feel like I shouldn't be posting this, that I should be trying harder to get some sensible stuff out of my 'noggin', but I think it's too much energy, for too little return today!!! I just got a post out of Kerry's, thanks chuck! (Call it advertising!!!)

It's raining outside, my son is doing my housework, so i'm just going to sit here and take a rest, then perhaps some rag-rugging may be on the cards...... very mindless - good!

Friday, 21 May 2010

PJ's and a Hammock!

I joked in a comment about my last post, that I couldn't keep up this excitement, well I was right! Instead of wonderful planned adventures in horsedrawn vehicles, I'm reduced to making it outside to the hammock, still in my PJ's! Not quite what I had in mind, but's far enough today!

This week, I have had to up my working hours, and that combined with the worst sound/light sensitivity for as long as I can remember (and, let's face it, that's not very long!) has reduced me to rubble.

It's a bit of a blow really, I am a stubborn old bird who REALLY doesn't like to be reminded in such a rude fashion that I'm disabled and debilitated sometimes. Always happens, things hit me, my elephant has a bit of a party, and I get grumpy at having to accept all over again, that I'm a ME/CFS groupie!

I said in my last post that I was starting to feel more like a healthy person with limitations, well that's all well and good, but when those limitations make you feel the way I do at the moment, you can't fail to feel un-healthy! I know it's going to subside, and I'll get some of my life back for a bit, and I'm not in the least down in the dumps about it, I'm OK, just smarting that today it's 1-nil to the elephants!

Laying in the hammock, sunglasses on and blanket over me-I'm lucky to be able to do this, so I'm going to make the most of the fresh air and gentle breeze. There's a little family of birds in a nearby tree, and they've got used to me being there, so I watch them coming and going and learning to fly.

It's so nice out here, my hammock is next to my hens making little 'swooshy' noises as they scratch about in the straw. The dog even came to join me, laying herself down in the long grass under the trees, insects bugging her every now and then. It's sunny and warm, there's only one thing for it............. sleep!

I'm aware that this post isn't dynamic and get-up-and-go. Heck it'd just get boring if it were the same all the time, much like life!

Saturday, 15 May 2010

More Precious Moments.....!

Well, I've promised an update to my last post all week. It's taken this long to sort my head and it's antics out - I'm having a few more neurological symptoms than I'm used to. Lots of fun with hearing issues, shock-like reactions to touch and especially unexpected sounds etc know the drill. Enough of that, it's just not too exciting to write about, I need to work out what's going on before I can share much.

Anyhooo, we spent a wonderful evening with Sylvia on Wednesday-sitting by her fire, eating chocolate biscuits and drinking tea. I gave her a book, and she gave me a couple of things in return...which are the best gifts I could imagine.

Firstly, she has offered us her 'dray' to borrow every summer. This is a large-ish, flat, wooden, 4-wheeled farm cart for Merlin to pull. We can put a top on it, and use it to go for weekends and holidays away, all summer. She will have it back in the winter, when she's at home, cos she uses it then.

I am thrilled! It is something I've ALWAYS wanted to do, travel with horsedrawn vehicle, and now here's my chance. It is a pretty M.E. friendly thing to do too, if I have a companion with me I can lie down, resting or sleeping any time I need to, leaving the driving to someone else, perfect!

I aim to get a peek at it, then get it delivered to where Merlin lives. We'll try him with it, (he may take a few trys to get used to it) then we'll get it home to put a top on and make it habitable. Thank heavens for very handy DIY 'savvy' fathers-in-law I say! If all goes to plan it may be on the road in about 6weeks! I'll keep ya posted!!!

The second gift she gave me, is the feeling that I am moving on, growing and experiencing much more than I thought possible. Her attitude to life is so 'get up and go' and cheerful that it is infectious. I can't help but smile and feel positively energised when I am, or have been around her.

I have begun to think much more like a healthy person, with limitations, again...rather than a permanently sick one, struggling to get through each day (which is mentally where I've been for many more years than I care to think about).

I, and my health have not changed one iota, but if I can maintain the more positive way of thinking it has surely got to make my journey with ME/CFS and the inevitable elephants more bearable. These last couple of weeks have been quite good, despite my worsened symptoms and a few emotional wobbles...I'd have let it all bother me much more before.

This renewed feeling of optimism, and of course, the Dray, are the best gifts I could wish for at this time in my life... (Well, a new bathroom and a semi-naked household slave wouldn't go amiss either, but Sylvia wasn't forthcoming on either of those!!!)

Monday, 10 May 2010

Nothing so precious as........

I am so lucky, I have met, and am meeting some pretty inspirational and special people just lately. I get so much joy from getting to know people, their stories and their friendship. Simple things please simple minds i suppose!!!
Honestly, there is no treasure, no luxury, no art, jewellery, product or gift that can come even a close second to the pleasure I get from simply sharing time with people, and I know some pretty wonderful ones!

There are the enduring friends I have, (let me take you back to my last post) they are special, each and every one. There are the friends I can be M.E./CFS comfy with and the ones I still try to hide some of it from.

There are the new friends I have, from the local support group. There is a large community of 'cyber' friends out there, who all appear at my 'virtual front door', the laptop screen! There are the friends I have through pony and carriage driving and many more from many different walks of life. All superb and wonderful people who I am privileged to know.

I want to tell you about one I have begun to get to know just recently, a special lady in her own category - Sylvia!

Sylvia is a lovely lady who is intelligent, quick, funny, honest and sincere. She is a traveller, still using a horse drawn gypsy caravan and her horse 'Diamond' to get around Britain. She travels for most of the year, stopping off with friends along the way.

I met her last autumn, and then saw her again a couple of weeks ago-I'm having such a blast getting to know her before she moves on again. We have spent a couple of evenings sitting by the fire, drinking tea and just talking about well, I dunno, but it was heavenly.

She has such a different lifestyle, and I admit it, I'm more than ferociously jealous! I am a simple girl at heart, a forager who loves to live simply. But I have to allow my health to take the lead on my lifestyle rather more than I'm happy with but hey! I am still able to lead a great life, just slower and much more cautiously than before, so you won't hear me complaining! (I'll just do it quietly!!!)

On Saturday Sylvia came out with me and my pony and carriage (see my photo on the post 'Myself to Blame') and fell in love with him, he was very good that day! I had the best time, she is such great fun! We talked and talked about stuff that is close to my heart, and hers - horses! Then, back to our yurt for toast and fresh scrambled eggs, laid by my 'girls', she loved it!

I could go on all day, but, I would never have begun driving horses and ponies if it weren't for ME/CFS, so there's a fair chance I would never have met Sylvia, or many of the intensely wonderful people I know now. So for this alone I need to give a huge hug to my 'elephant' when I can get my arms round him (he is a bit big at the moment, and my arms ache!).

I hope that all of us have as pleasant and relaxed a time as possible in this Awareness Week. I'm not sure todays post will do much for awareness, but I hope, if you're new here, you check out some of the previous ones!

Before I go, a warm welcome Jessica, thanks for following over from Facebook! Great to see you!

Take care all,

Wednesday, 5 May 2010

"I understand...."

My elephant has lost a few pounds this morning I think, still sitting on my shoulders, but lighter than it has been for a while. The first thing to recover, when I notice I feel better, is my horrible, down in the dumps moodiness.

"Hooray!" I hear my friends cry in chorus! For, tis they who bear the brunt of my 'sharing the joys of ME/CFS!' (Otherwise commonly known as, 'moaning on' about the pain and my limitations etc!) They are a stalwart group, who's support is the best cushion I could wish for.

I am blessed with many friends who support me in many ways, some willingly and some I think who are totally unaware of what they do and how much I rely on them.

At the weekend it had been arranged that my friend, her partner and two children were coming to lunch. I was having a particularly bad time of it, and anyone else, I would have cancelled immediately. I was, if I'm honest, toying with cancelling them, but am so glad I didn't.

They arrive and slot into our home. And, after initial chats and a cuppa, my friend took over in the kitchen, cooking for 7! She even shopped for it cos she knows that's something I won't have been able to do.

She cooks, serves (waiting on me especially!), and arranges the clearing away operations. The men being 'press ganged' into kitchen tidying and dishwasher 'feeding' afterwards. Then, she scoops me up, with a caring "Let's go get you laid down somewhere." and takes me to the yurt.

She then lights the fire, makes tea, and puts up with a very tired and worn down me. We talk a little, sit quietly a little, laugh a little. She should be bottled and given out on prescription!

And then, after all this, I have to ask them to leave as I could no longer manage to be there, laying down or otherwise. Without any fuss, she tidies away the tea things, gathers up her family, and is gone. She texts me from the car ....

"Thanks for a nice afternoon, don't feel bad about needing to go to bed. I understand. Take care."

Need I say more! All that and she still thanks ME for a nice afternoon! She has no idea that single handedly she has (albeit very caringly, and gently) shaken me up and turned my black mood around, instead I am now counting my blessings with this illness.

I have such healing and comforting relationships in my life, due in no small part to ME/CFS and the elephant I carry. Ok, now I'm in serious danger of getting schmaltzy and sentimental, so I'm off!

But, if ever my friend reads this, I mean EVERY word and more! You are truly one in a million!

Sunday, 2 May 2010

Eating for 2!

It's been a funny kind of a day! I've not been having a good one, and, if i'm honest my body has been grumbling for a good while, but I've been ignoring it's 'SOS' signals!

I have carried on pushing myself further than I should, but in my defence, Hey, I have no defence...! I just tried to be a Mum, wife, cleaner, daughter, friend, worker, and all those other roles we take on! I just tried a little too hard that's all.

It's not serious, I'll be OK, just feels pretty rubbish whilst I'm in the middle of it all. My mood drops to basement level, and I get really short tempered! Not to mention all the physical symptoms that roll in or worsen (no, really, best not mentioned!)

But, if I could just ask, one of my less severe symptoms in a moderate 'crash' like this is excessive hunger. Is it just me or does anyone else have to eat every two/three hours? Terrible what our 'elephant' makes us do....! Hey, I'm eating for two!

If/when I'm able to, I cover my back by using humour to lift my own spirits, it works eventually, and I can start to see the black cloud dissipating. It just might take a couple more days this time................!

If you feel you can share, how do you guys keep your outlook fairly rosy? Any suggestions will be gratefully recieved. Let's face it, things can be pretty bleak sometimes, but life goes on.........

All the very best to you reader, thankyou for sticking with me in this fairly low mood I find myself in, here's to it 'clearing off' as soon as possible, and hoping we all stay as cheery and well as we can.

take care!