Since that trip things have conspired to bring me back to earth with a 'thump'! It is sometimes my own doing, cos I push myself to my limits (and sometimes beyond em) but this time I am largely blameless!
Work has been more than usually stressful this last couple of months, building nicely into a semi permanent 'teetering on the edge of crash' state! I find I am unable to sort a particularly knotty issue out, caused by circumstances out of my control, all getting a bit much with this illness that hates stress.
Whilst my energy levels have been worse there are the usual culprits that appear when things aren't going so well. That bone crushing, aching tiredness and weakness that can stop you in your tracks sometimes- the body that's suddenly too heavy to take another step, and a brain that might be able to do the Times crossword one minute but can't find the words I need to complete a sentence the next, (sorry, that's not strictly true-I don't think I could do the Times crossword even when well!) Hearing sensitivities, tremors, muscle spasms and brain-fuzz of the most debilitating 'I can't remember what i am supposed to be saying' kind are also here and look like they're staying!
I am prone to muscle spasms in all sorts of odd places but my lower tummy has been really troublesome just lately, with horribly painful spasms and tension in the area around my pelvic floor muscles. I just cant relax them at all, night or day. Night is worse as lying down seems to make the pain more intense...no sleep for days now! Is this just my own brand of ME/CFS or do others get similar symptoms too?
Things aren't always good in anyone's life, they're sometimes very hard, painful, lonely and frustrating but I have an unshakeable faith that things do change, and hopefully for the better.
Will someone remind me of this please, when I'm mired in pain, fatigue and a basement low mood!? It's sure to happen, not as yet as I am definitely upbeat, but, as they say, "it's not over till the fat lady sings!" (But, don't worry, I'M keeping MY mouth firmly glued shut!!!!!)