Dissolving Concrete!

There's been a change in the weather here, from incredibly hot and humid, to plain old chilly with water falling out of the sky! Its been so long since that happened I've forgotten what it's called! Something to do with cats and dogs maybe?

It's a great thing though, it seems to have rained through my head, and taken some of the concrete with it, who'd have thought it, dissolving concrete! My head is clearer, calmer and I can think! Well, I know I'm maybe 'bigging up' my cognitive abilities, but it's all relative!

The world should get ready today as there are some knotty issues out there which I have been a bit remiss in sorting out. It's hard to have legality/policy based conversations with people when you are having trouble remembering what you were saying halfway through saying it!

There is a little teensy weensy bit of a downside though, cos we have ME/CFS and it's effects are always there - even when the concrete has trickled through the cracks in my brain. My head is clearer and feels great and I'm loving it, but my body is putting up a mega protest of it's own since the weather change.

I woke in head-to-toe pain yesterday, not something I usually suffer from. I generally manage to stay asleep if pain comes on overnight, it just hits me in the morning as I struggle with the usual joys of waking up. But this time I woke and was unable to move, call out, or poke my hubby to wake him! I just had to lay there for what seemed like an age, sweating and breathing my way through it till my arms would move and I could take the tablets which are kept in the bedside cabinet. When the pain had gone a little I was able to get up and go lie somewhere else, so hubby could sleep on.

I worked yesterday, even though I was a little drugged up on painkillers etc, but I made it through. I'm gonna have another go today as there are a couple of meetings I should be at, and I have tomorrow off anyhow.

It's a hard thing to do, to try to explain to healthy friends/family why I'd try to get to work through something that they would definitely stay in bed for. I think it has a lot to do with the constant sickness that this disease brings. We have to get used to a certain level of 'feeling ill' as being a good day, and if we stayed at home for every ache and pain we would, most likely, never be out at all.

I'm happy to put up with this level of pain (drugs accepted of course!!) if it means I get my head back and can carry on conversations and READ!

I hope that wherever you are the weather is being kind to you,

Brain...? What brain...?

AGH! I'm just about ready to sign up for a brain transplant! Just right now I'd cheerfully flick a switch to shut mine down completely.

For the last couple of days/nights, my brain has been in random thought and vision mode! I JUST CANNOT finish a thought, or even pursue it for more than a couple of seconds before it slips away from me. Pushed out by a randomly (or so it seems) created thought or mental picture.

Overnight I've been unable to sleep, but my head has been a constantly flickering blur of visions and thoughts that I have to admit I have no control over. (Pretty much like when Mr.H has control of the TV remote!) All efforts to concentrate on something, even a very familiar something, are as useless as a chocolate tea-pot!

I can't tell you how wearing this is, but I'm sure many of you don't need telling, and are probably nodding sagely as you read this! I'm at the stage where it hurts now-not an actual headache, but an uncomfortable 'stirred up' feeling that makes me want to retreat to a darkened room to wait it out. Life will not permit that today though!

Writing this has helped a little, calmed the maelstrom that rages inside. Another of the hidden delights of my condition I think..... "thanks!" It only happens occasionally but when it does it is devastating and sometimes lasts for more days than I'm happy to accept.

I'm afraid I have written this post, but, due to my dodgy concentration, can't manage to re-read it to see if it flows or there are any typos, so I'll trust spellchecker and you all!
Here's to calmer seas!