Wednesday, 5 May 2010

"I understand...."

My elephant has lost a few pounds this morning I think, still sitting on my shoulders, but lighter than it has been for a while. The first thing to recover, when I notice I feel better, is my horrible, down in the dumps moodiness.

"Hooray!" I hear my friends cry in chorus! For, tis they who bear the brunt of my 'sharing the joys of ME/CFS!' (Otherwise commonly known as, 'moaning on' about the pain and my limitations etc!) They are a stalwart group, who's support is the best cushion I could wish for.

I am blessed with many friends who support me in many ways, some willingly and some I think who are totally unaware of what they do and how much I rely on them.

At the weekend it had been arranged that my friend, her partner and two children were coming to lunch. I was having a particularly bad time of it, and anyone else, I would have cancelled immediately. I was, if I'm honest, toying with cancelling them, but am so glad I didn't.

They arrive and slot into our home. And, after initial chats and a cuppa, my friend took over in the kitchen, cooking for 7! She even shopped for it cos she knows that's something I won't have been able to do.

She cooks, serves (waiting on me especially!), and arranges the clearing away operations. The men being 'press ganged' into kitchen tidying and dishwasher 'feeding' afterwards. Then, she scoops me up, with a caring "Let's go get you laid down somewhere." and takes me to the yurt.

She then lights the fire, makes tea, and puts up with a very tired and worn down me. We talk a little, sit quietly a little, laugh a little. She should be bottled and given out on prescription!

And then, after all this, I have to ask them to leave as I could no longer manage to be there, laying down or otherwise. Without any fuss, she tidies away the tea things, gathers up her family, and is gone. She texts me from the car ....

"Thanks for a nice afternoon, don't feel bad about needing to go to bed. I understand. Take care."

Need I say more! All that and she still thanks ME for a nice afternoon! She has no idea that single handedly she has (albeit very caringly, and gently) shaken me up and turned my black mood around, instead I am now counting my blessings with this illness.

I have such healing and comforting relationships in my life, due in no small part to ME/CFS and the elephant I carry. Ok, now I'm in serious danger of getting schmaltzy and sentimental, so I'm off!

But, if ever my friend reads this, I mean EVERY word and more! You are truly one in a million!


  1. Zarla --that is one fantastic friend! I'm so happy for you to have such a person in your life. The afternoon and evening sound not only like they were much enjoyed, but oh so comfortable. To be able to live with this illness in safe, comfortable company that doesn't judge or feel begrudged by our inability to "hostess" is precious. Add the text and and wow!

    I have a friend who I am developing such a comfort level with who seems to not have a fear in the world about my physical challenges...sees right past them as if they aren't even there, yet seems to be ready at all times to catch me if my balance fails me.

    Here's to celebrating our friends who love us with ME/CFS.

    So glad for your fun, your friend and your lifted spirits, Zar.

  2. Kerry,
    I'm thrilled that you felt able to visit my elephants. They always feel much lighter when there's a true friend about hey!?!

    I am blessed with some fabulous friendships, of which you are one of my most shiny. I am so pleased that you have a friend who treats you so well, tell her I haven't met her, but I like her too!

    Here's to friendships-in all their forms.
    We all need them, and they can teach us so much.

    Healing and caring thoughts/hugs to you, my friend
    Take care chuck,BFF,

  3. i am really glad that your friend did all that for you, as i to wish icould do the same for you but my elephant is detemined not to let me.
    you are very lucky that you have such a thoughtful friend that is well ehough to take control of things for a while. i have friends that woulkd love to but they are all to ill.
    but it sounds very nice.

    lol jo x

  4. Hey Jo!
    Great to see a comment from you-thankyou for visiting!
    As I said, all my friends are important to me.
    You are part of -
    "They are a stalwart group, who's support is the best cushion I could wish for."

    Jo, I'm a better person for knowing you, and all my friends, either the face-to-face or 'cyber'ones.

    Stay strong, take care...

  5. You are truly blessed.

    "There isn't much that I can do, but I can share an hour with you, and I can share a joke with on our way we go."
    ---Maude V. Preston

  6. Wow!
    There are some things that make you stop, think, re-evaluate and grow. This quote is one of those Dominique.

    I wish I'd found that for my original post-so beautiful.

    I haven't stopped re-reading it since it appeared in my email inbox, as that is where all unmoderated comments first land.

    It could have been written for my friend, I may have to share it with her!

    take care, great to hear from you.


Any comments?