Wednesday, 31 March 2010

Elephant gun!

I've been scratching about trying to find inspiration for another 'rambling blog', and here he was all the time- sitting there on my shoulders, peeking down at me and waving his trunk!
My elephant wants to be big, powerful and in control. He's never happier than when he is up there on my shoulders- looming large!

If I'm having a good patch, one where my elephant starts to shrink a little he gets upset.
Then he whispers in my ear (and the niggling little thoughts creep in)- You know the ones, the things that you would like to do to celebrate having a little more energy today! When my elephant shrinks I try incredibly hard to ignore his sneaky whispering. I put my fingers in my ears and "la, la, la, la," loudly, but it just doesn't work. I'm always falling into the trap he sets for me, overstepping my energy every time!


He does his whispering trick to get me to overdo it, to be too energetic, to enjoy the moment and let go a little. It feels great whilst I'm doing it, so liberating and I really cant remember the last time I felt like this!

Well, yes I can! It was the last time I listened to that @*##~* elephant! He knows that if I take a few steps too many, walk around that one last shop, or rake those last few leaves he will have won, and be back to his old weighty self before long.

Yesterday, and for the last few days, my elephant has been quite small, sitting there mostly bored and dejected. Once or twice he tried to show himself, jumped up and down for some attention, but it was short lived.
However after a mega day of working, driving here and there, and a meditation session (in the hardest and most upright chair imaginable!) he is back today!!!!
He is big, heavy, cumbersome and happy- smiling from flappy ear, to flappy ear! He's back in control, stomping his huge feet and trumpeting in my ringing ears, making it hard to concentrate and think, and how I hate it!

Someone buy me an elephant gun!!!!!

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