I have spent my morning poddling about the house, not really doing much and sitting down LOTS! I kept thinking that after lunch I would go out and check on Merlin our carriage pony.
Mmm, I should have known that that elephant of mine would make his presence felt, and weigh me down -he has! My body feels so heavy and my legs are sore, I really need to be horizontal
My 'pony check', followed by a cuppa with my friend looks much less likely from where i am just now -horizontal on the bed!
Boy it's frustrating when my diary gets rearranged..... by a bloody elephant!
Anyone know of any elephant weight-loss programs? :o)
Showing posts with label limitations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label limitations. Show all posts
Wednesday, 8 December 2010
Monday, 22 November 2010
You know you've got ME/CFS when.......
I'm not one for inspiration, I seem to drift along in my world and miss all sorts of shareable, blog-able stuff. Or Maybe, it doesn't even happen to me, I dunno!
But I got a tweet (twitter speak for the uninitiated!) today, and I quote,
'You know you've got ME when..... you eat your cereal with a large spoon cos it takes less energy'.
This got me thinking about the little quirks that have crept into my life and become almost habitual since becoming ill, the kind of thing the doctors never warn you about!
I have to say I often let my cup of tea go almost cold, so I can drink it in just one 'mug-lift'. I also shuffle about the bedroom, herding dirty laundry (socks are especially tricky critters!) with my feet so I only have to bend down once to pick it up. Mmm, sorry for the slightly grubby picture of domesticity, but such is my life!!
I walk around accompanied by a kind of wind-chime sound when I'm out of the house as I have to attach my car keys, house keys and work i.d. to my person, so that I don't lose them! Goodness only knows what would happen if I fell in the lake.....sink like a stone I expect!
I'm certain these aren't the only things that I'll think of, and will probably add later, but please let me know of any little things you do now, that make life a little easier.
You know you've got ME/CFS when .............
But I got a tweet (twitter speak for the uninitiated!) today, and I quote,
'You know you've got ME when..... you eat your cereal with a large spoon cos it takes less energy'.
This got me thinking about the little quirks that have crept into my life and become almost habitual since becoming ill, the kind of thing the doctors never warn you about!
I have to say I often let my cup of tea go almost cold, so I can drink it in just one 'mug-lift'. I also shuffle about the bedroom, herding dirty laundry (socks are especially tricky critters!) with my feet so I only have to bend down once to pick it up. Mmm, sorry for the slightly grubby picture of domesticity, but such is my life!!
I walk around accompanied by a kind of wind-chime sound when I'm out of the house as I have to attach my car keys, house keys and work i.d. to my person, so that I don't lose them! Goodness only knows what would happen if I fell in the lake.....sink like a stone I expect!
I'm certain these aren't the only things that I'll think of, and will probably add later, but please let me know of any little things you do now, that make life a little easier.
You know you've got ME/CFS when .............
Monday, 13 September 2010
Doh!
Ok, time I came clean about why I'm feeling a bit down at the moment.
Most of my 10 years of elephant carrying has been fairly predictable. After an initial year spent bed/housebound I made it back to a level of functioning which allowed me to work, and even attempt a degree course (which I was unable to finish I'm afraid!).
I mostly poddled along day to day, coping with my symptoms and limitations as best I could. These were at times quite debilitating, but occasionally I managed periods of relative wellness, (it's ALL relative isn't it?) at one point I even managed a trip to Mongolia and rode horses for days on end!
At some point in each of the last 10 years I have had a relapse, crash, setback, whatever you call it, it's the same old beast! These crashes have always been debilitating, disabling, difficult to manage, mood-shattering, and above all scary. Who's to say how long you'll be feeling this way, and what happens to family life, work and all those other commitments whilst you are unable to contribute? Your daily energy, health and resilience reduced to a fraction of what it was just weeks before.
These relapses have meant I needed months off work, only able to return when I felt it was possible. Work were always understanding, and some semblance of a normal life (whatever that is?) could be resumed. This last 'crash' has been quite different however and has opened up a whole new set of worries for me.
In October last year I had an accident, and a week or so after that my latest relapse started to kick in. My injuries made it hard to lie or sit down, so in the initial period after the accident I was not able to rest as I would have been doing normally. As I write this and read it back I am beginning to see how stupid I was to be surprised I had a relapse..... injury then no rest...."Doh!"
Still, I had an initial month off work and a 'managed' phased return to work was agreed and started. Yes, I know it makes no sense NOW! Just a month off for a ME/CFS crash! I thought that the slow and steady return to work was going to be the best option and I stand by that...... but I should have been healthier and taken more time to recover before trying it!
Since December's return to working just two part mornings a week, I have strived to do as many hours as I can. I have spent each week pushing myself to up my hours and return to a full working week as I have always done. It has been nearly a whole year since this ME/CFS relapse started and although I have had some good days, it shows no signs of lifting and allowing me to settle back into my limited but fairly stable existence. I can manage working part time, but it is eating up my energy, and my life out of work is suffering to the point that it often becomes extinct!!!
I pushed myself constantly over this last year, and I can't help but wonder that if I'd not done so, would I have managed to return to work better and more fully than now? I don't know, but I DO KNOW how sick I feel almost all the time of late. Whether I'm at work or at home.
So now for the honest and heart-on-my-sleeve bit........ I am inevitably starting to ask myself difficult questions. Is this it for me now? Is this level of health/sickness my new 'norm'? Can I return to how I was this time last year, and manage to work as before?
Having a crisis of 'positive thinking'!
Most of my 10 years of elephant carrying has been fairly predictable. After an initial year spent bed/housebound I made it back to a level of functioning which allowed me to work, and even attempt a degree course (which I was unable to finish I'm afraid!).
I mostly poddled along day to day, coping with my symptoms and limitations as best I could. These were at times quite debilitating, but occasionally I managed periods of relative wellness, (it's ALL relative isn't it?) at one point I even managed a trip to Mongolia and rode horses for days on end!
At some point in each of the last 10 years I have had a relapse, crash, setback, whatever you call it, it's the same old beast! These crashes have always been debilitating, disabling, difficult to manage, mood-shattering, and above all scary. Who's to say how long you'll be feeling this way, and what happens to family life, work and all those other commitments whilst you are unable to contribute? Your daily energy, health and resilience reduced to a fraction of what it was just weeks before.
These relapses have meant I needed months off work, only able to return when I felt it was possible. Work were always understanding, and some semblance of a normal life (whatever that is?) could be resumed. This last 'crash' has been quite different however and has opened up a whole new set of worries for me.
In October last year I had an accident, and a week or so after that my latest relapse started to kick in. My injuries made it hard to lie or sit down, so in the initial period after the accident I was not able to rest as I would have been doing normally. As I write this and read it back I am beginning to see how stupid I was to be surprised I had a relapse..... injury then no rest...."Doh!"
Still, I had an initial month off work and a 'managed' phased return to work was agreed and started. Yes, I know it makes no sense NOW! Just a month off for a ME/CFS crash! I thought that the slow and steady return to work was going to be the best option and I stand by that...... but I should have been healthier and taken more time to recover before trying it!
Since December's return to working just two part mornings a week, I have strived to do as many hours as I can. I have spent each week pushing myself to up my hours and return to a full working week as I have always done. It has been nearly a whole year since this ME/CFS relapse started and although I have had some good days, it shows no signs of lifting and allowing me to settle back into my limited but fairly stable existence. I can manage working part time, but it is eating up my energy, and my life out of work is suffering to the point that it often becomes extinct!!!
I pushed myself constantly over this last year, and I can't help but wonder that if I'd not done so, would I have managed to return to work better and more fully than now? I don't know, but I DO KNOW how sick I feel almost all the time of late. Whether I'm at work or at home.
So now for the honest and heart-on-my-sleeve bit........ I am inevitably starting to ask myself difficult questions. Is this it for me now? Is this level of health/sickness my new 'norm'? Can I return to how I was this time last year, and manage to work as before?
Having a crisis of 'positive thinking'!
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